I always told myself that I’d never be Christian who’d read a devotional over their Bible. Those were for baby Christians, or for people who were obviously prioritizing other things in their life since they weren’t devoting legitimate time to reading Gods word.
I was the geek who used a Bible journal. I studied books of the Bible. I’d use a concordance. I read and re-read certain passages of scripture trying to find gems that other people would pass over.
Guys. I’d even look up the Greek meaning for words sometimes.
I know, crazy right?
Well, I don’t judge Christians who read out of devotionals anymore. Because the last few weeks, I’ve been one of those Christians.
Maybe you can relate to a typical morning in the life of Emily Brown:
Alarm goes off, I inwardly groan because I never get as much sleep as I’d like, I shuffle downstairs, make coffee, head upstairs, try to work on homework so I don’t have to stay up until 1 in the morning tonight to do it, take a shower, grab some breakfast or don’t grab some breakfast depending on how much time I have, and then do something with my mop of hair and head out the door.
Somewhere between making coffee and doing homework or grabbing breakfast and doing my hair, I’ll pause for a minute and open up the devotional I’ve been going through.
Its a great devotional. Its full of scripture and always leaves you with a thought to meditate on throughout the day, but sometimes it leaves me with this hollow feeling deep in my stomach too.
Earlier in this week, it became apparent what that feeling was.
Hunger.
No, not physical hunger. Spiritual hunger.
See, I’ve been utilizing all the resources I can during this busy season of my life. I’ll try to listen to the bible on audio book while I get ready, turn on a podcast in the car, listen to christian music while I go running, follow and re-post inspirational christian quotes and bible verses on social media…
But it doesn’t fill me up.
All these things that I’ve been trying to do are like taking little snacks here and there amid the day- it’s satisfying for a moment or two, but it never really makes the hunger go away.
It reminds me of the verse in Psalm 34:8,
“Taste and see that the Lord is good.”
A taste is better than nothing, but all it does is remind you of how wonderful our Savior is, how necessary time spent with him is, and how hungry you are for him.
Have you ever gone to get ice-cream and the girl serving you asks if you want to try a sample? Usually I agree, but its only to determine what kind of ice-cream I actually want to buy. Well of course I’m going to get a whopping scoop of the chocolate fudge or peppermint that I tried. Why else would I be in the ice-cream shop?
The last thing you want to do when you’re offered a sample is try all the flavors, and then walk back out without buying anything. I’ve been that person behind the ice-cream counter when people do that. You wonder why they even bothered to come in and try samples in the first place.
“Maybe I’ll come back!” They tell you, and then you never see them again. “Oh my goodness, this is sooooo good. I just really can’t today.”
I wonder if God ever feels that way when we’re always coming to His counter asking for samples, but are too busy to get a scoop and just sit with him for a while.
He doesn’t even charge for his ice-cream. Its a gift. And yet we still deny it.
“It’s so good!” We tell him, but then our minds start racing and our phones start buzzing so we toss our little plastic spoons into the jar on the counter and run out the door, just fast enough to not meet his eyes or hear him saying, “Don’t go!”
Brothers and sisters, we weren’t made for samples.
We were made to feast.
“And Jesus said: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’
“But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’“Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’ “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’ -Luke 14:15-20
All the people in this story had a legitimate excuse for not coming to the banquet.
I’ve had legitimate excuses these past few weeks for not spending time with the Lord.
And you probably have too.
But if we only knew what we were missing out on.
We’ve all been invited to a banquet. Every day, we are invited to commune with God, to spend time in his presence and sit at his feet. Its a beautiful banquet, more satisfying than any this world could ever offer and yet we often settle for second best.
Or we try a sample at the banquet and then leave still hungry.
Or maybe we don’t even come at all.
On Tuesday this week, after I closed my devotional, I sat there for a minute in the stillness with a weight on my heart. I missed God. I was hungry for him.
Reading a devotional is just not the same as sitting in the presence of God and saturating in the goodness of his Word just as sampling is not the same as feasting.
But don’t lose heart. If you’ve been busy like me, and settled for second best at times, remember the promise spoken of Jesus during the sermon on the mount,
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.” -Matthew 5:6
You can try samples a million times at the counter of God before asking for a double or triple scoop of ice-cream and I promise he won’t refuse you. Or you can walk into His ice-cream shop for the first time and I promise he won’t be surprised. He’ll welcome you by name.
The feast of God is open to any who’ll accept his invitation.
‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” -Revelation 3:20
We were made to dine with God. To spend time with Him. To hunger after him and be filled by him.
If you’re tired of the samples, if you feel like you’re always hungry, that’s not Gods fault. He’s invited you to his table every day to feast on his daily bread. All you have to do is say yes.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of the samples.
I’ll race you to the banquet table, but you better hurry up,
cause boy am I hungry.
I’m ready to feast again.
I had a professor at University that often talked about the parable of the sower. He likened students to the seeds that get choked by the thorns: “…they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.” (Luke 8:14) How often I exchange time with God for cleaning dishes, planning my garden, texting a friend, watching a movie, or scrolling through Instagram! Those things are thorns. I need the nourishing compost and water of God and His word.
Crazy, I was just reading through Luke 8 today! Yes, I definitely want to be the good soil that yields a crop a hundred times more than what was sown! Thankful that He does the sowing, and all we have to do is be willing soil.
Great post Emily! You are an amazing writer. It’s very clear that you are not a “fair weather” Christian, but someone who wants to dive deep into the mysteries of God. Bless you with each post you write. May they be used as a tool to draw others closer to a place of “hunger”…a place where they also want to dive deep or…join you at the feast! Take care, Aunt Debbie…. :o)
Thank you Aunt Debbie! That means a lot to me 🙂