Last week at Sunday school, I taught the story of Daniel to my rowdy group of preschoolers. They were entranced. I mean, who doesn’t love a good story with royalty, creepy, conniving villains, perilous man-eating lions, and a fearless hero that escapes against all odds?
They loved it.
In fact they were so enthralled, that they wouldn’t stop talking about it as I was trying to move on to the part of the lesson where we go over applications. I decided it wasn’t a bad thing that they were excited about the bible, so instead of trying to fight for their attention we moved onto snack time and the other teachers and I decided to try to talk to them about applications as they were eating.
I turned to one little boy, who reminds me of a baby version of the Disney character Kristoff. He has shaggy blonde hair and deep blue eyes and the cutest little smirky smile. We’ll call him Kris.
“Kris,” I asked, “What are you afraid of?”
He didn’t even look me in the eyes as he said it, too concentrated on his package of fruit snacks.
“I’m not afraid of anything.” He said nonchalantly.
I kind of laughed under my breath
“Really?”
“Nope.” He said, turning the fruit snack package upside down and pouring them into his mouth. I shook my head and looked at the boy sitting next to him, who always wears these adorable old man sweaters and has an uncanny love for hot wheels. We’ll call him Car.
“What about you Car?”
This boy thought about it for a while, and I waited for him to answer that he was scared of the dark, or crossing the street by himself, or getting hurt… He scrunched his face up, looked at the ceiling and then replied,
“Eh…nothing.”
Again, I laughed under my breath.
“What about when its dark outside?”
“I have a night light.”
“What about if your night light stops working?”
“I’ll just call Mommy.”
“What about if your mommy was on a trip and it was just you and your Dad, would you be scared then?”
He was quiet. I’d caught him.
“No, you wouldn’t be scared.” Interrupted Kris between mouthfuls of fruit snacks, “Mom’s always come back.”
“Yeah. Mom’s always come back.” Agreed Car.
It was cute. But it wasn’t the answer I wanted. I began listing other scenarios and situations where they might be scared. But the two little fella’s were relentless. They denied every one.
Finally, I thought back to our lesson. If there was one things little boys were scared of, it had to be fierce, ferocious vehement carnivores with giant teeth and piercing claws.
“What if you were Daniel,” I said, “would you be afraid of the lions?”
I waited for their faces to go white, for their eyes to shake and for their answer to be “Oh yes teacher! We’d be so afraid! Tell us what we should do!” And then I’d swoop down like a wise guardian angel and list off some bible verses and tell them that they have nothing to be afraid of if they have Jesus. But before I had time to even think about which verse I was going to share first, Car and Kris answered unanimously:
“No way!” Their voices were enthusiastic and they had grins on their small, sticky faces.
GRINS.
“What?” I asked, just to make sure I’d heard them right. “Lions?”
“Yeah I wouldn’t be afraid of them! I’d punch them in the face!” Kris said, then proceeded to demonstrate just exactly how he’d punch them in the face.
I was literally almost frustrated at this point. These kids were out to lunch! Kris’s little fist was the size of a plum for crying out loud! And he was 4 years old! He would literally have no chance against a pack of ravenous lions. They’d tear him to shreds in seconds! I was just about to explain that when I heard a still small voice.
“He’d have a chance with me, Emily. With me, all things are possible.”
“But God!” I wanted to say. “These little kids are being totally naive! One day they’re going to go out into the real world and be scared out of their socks! It’s dark out there! It’s evil out there! They need to be realistic!”
Realistic, or afraid?
Oh. Ouch. It was then that I realized it. By listing off a bunch of potentially scary situations I was literally trying to make them fear.
In a lesson about not fearing!
What was I thinking?
And then the truth hit deeper. It’s because I do it.
I like to think of everything that could go wrong. I like to examine all the ins and outs of a situation and toss it around so much in my head that I work myself into a panic. I don’t look at unknowns like adventures or opportunities, but like a giant black hole just waiting to suck me in. I over-analyze, and I over think and I’m not like Kris and Car.
I’m not fearless.
I grew quiet as Kris and Car left their snacks to wrestle around on the floor and practice how they’d kick lions in the teeth with their little converse laden feet and strangle their throats with their fingers that were the size of baby carrots. Probably smaller. I laughed and I smiled at their faith. Their crazy, audacious, big, big faith.
My kids had done it again. They’d taught me a lesson without even knowing it.
See, I had been hiding my fear under a cloak called “being realistic”. I’d justified my over-thinking and over-analyzing with the rationalization that I was just being practical and planning ahead. I literally thought I was doing the mature thing by worrying.
But what does God say?
God says that it wasn’t Kris and Car who were being ridiculous.
It was me.
I was being like the little kid who is afraid of a monster under her bed. My thoughts weren’t fueled by what was really there, but what could be.
So what is there? What is the truth?
God.
Isaiah 41:10 says, ” Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
The truth is, God is with me. God is my God. God will strengthen me. God will help me. God will uphold me. I have no reason to fear.
Instead of dwelling on the possibilities of what could be, I need to just dwell on what already is, and what always will be- the safe and sure promises of God.
When I bent down to say goodbye to Kris and Car last Sunday, I felt like I was looking into the eyes of two warriors. Satan was probably laughing at me. These were four year olds! One had boogers on his face! But I knew God was smiling at their crazy, reckless, audacious faith. I knew he was proud of them.
And oh how I wanted him to be proud of me too.
“I’m sorry God. I don’t have lion-punching faith.”
“That’s ok.” He said, “All you need is the size of a mustard seed.”
2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
