Last Saturday I was on top of the world. My boyfriend and I had a conversation that morning over oat milk lattes from bakery by the lake that stilled a lot of fears in my heart. We talked about plans coming into fruition. Real, solid plans, and it put my spirit at ease. A future that has so long been out of reach suddenly felt tangible. I was ecstatic.
Well, then Sunday rolled around. And I read these words.
“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes. Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” -James 4:13-16
After reading that, I felt the gentle rebuke of the Holy Spirit. Don’t get me wrong, I think its good to be excited about the future and to make plans and be diligent and responsible.
The thing is, I wasn’t necessarily just excited for the plans themselves, I was simply excited that the plans existed. Now, if you’re not a control freak who hates change and struggles with worry, you may not understand this. But after reading those verses from James 4, I came face to face with the truth:
My peace was resting in my plans, instead of resting in God and the plans he has for me.
Plans change. All the time. And what I have envisioned for my life and my future may not even be close to what God has prepared for me. Though I most certainly need to be a good steward and have goals and dreams, my comfort and my faith can’t be in those goals and dreams. My comfort and faith must be in God alone and my plans must be merely a piece of my life, not the peace of my life.
Psalm 127:1 says, ” Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays alert in vain.”
That verse doesn’t say if the builder requests the Lords assistance, or asks for his blessing, or even if the Lord helps build the house, but literally unless the Lord himself builds it, the builders labor in vain.
I don’t know about you, but at times I can be like a watchman guarding a city when it comes to my future. I am violently protective with what I want, so much so that it’s hard for me to give up control and surrender to God, even though I know that my life is way safer in his hands than mine. But no matter how comforting a 5 year plan feels, all such planning is vanity without the Lord says Psalm 127, and all such boasting about the safety of those plans is evil says James 4.
When I chose my motto for this year, “On His Heels“, I didn’t think I’d struggle with getting ahead of God, as I’m typically someone who lags behind in apathy or fear. But last week, I ran ahead. Last week I rested in the security of my plans and let them carry me forward instead of resting in God and trusting that he’ll lead me.
For he is our only guarantee in life. He is all our hope and all our peace.
I don’t ever want to become enraptured with a future that will only turn to dust. For the grass withers, the flowers fail, and all my days are as a vapor…but God endures. God alone.
I don’t know if this encourages someone out there, but as you guys know, I always share from what the Lord is currently teaching me. And he is teaching me that my peace needs to be in my known God, not my unknown future. Because the future is always unknown. No matter how many details are planned out and how safe those details feel.
I’m still excited about whats ahead. Really, stupid, stinkin’ excited!! But most of all, I’m excited that whats ahead is even better than I could imagine because my future is being built by hands that are much more strong, skillful, wise and experienced than my feeble ones.
As one of my favorite artists, Mumford and Sons sings, “Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste, as it keeps my heart and soul in its place. And I will love with urgency -But not with haste.”
That is my prayer: to love and to live, and to keep moving forward, with urgency and excitement and responsibility, but not with haste.
Not with haste.
