This past week I turned twenty-one. My parents hosted a big celebration and our home was full of dearly loved friends and family. We ate grilled chicken and birthday cake and sang my favorite hymns and laughed over old pictures of me in overalls and muck boots that my mom had hanging around the house. When my Grandparents arrived, my grandpa gave me the keys to their toyota corolla and asked me to get something out of their car for him. Assuming it was their cooler, I ran outside and unlocked the trunk to find, not a cooler, but my big brother from the East Coast! Completely unbeknownst to me, him and my mom had been planning a surprise visit. Surprised I definitely was, as well as teary and emotional as I hung onto him and cried since I haven’t seen him since last August.
It was probably the best surprise of my life.
As I’ve been reflecting on this milestone birthday, instead of looking back and feeling old and wise, I look ahead, and feel like a little girl, walking around in a pair of my moms high heels that are much too big for me. I’ve got a grin on my face and I am hopeful, and excited, but these new shoes are definitely wobbly and my feet still aren’t used to them. They don’t fit yet.
21.
Childhood is behind me, and the road of adulthood stretches out far. Sometimes I wonder how I’ll make it. I wonder what lies ahead, the twists, the turns, the road blocks…
So much of our lives are what we make of them, from the people we decide to surround ourselves with to the places we choose to go and the many decisions in between.
If I’ve learned anything in my 20 short years, its that I want a life that is full. Full of lessons and growth, experiences and memories, love and laughter. I want to write stories and play with puppies and drive in the rain and eat warm brownies, even though I know they aren’t good for me. I never want to settle in my relationship with the Lord, or my relationships with the people closest to me. I want to become so much kinder, so much braver, so much better. I want to live in a way that makes my Father happy he created me, happy he put me in this world with its mountains and wildflowers and oceans and streams, happy he put the people in my life that he did, to love and love well. Most of all, I want a life that doesn’t decay with time, but ripens and swells and bursts inside me, even though my outer person wastes away.
As I look ahead, the road is long, yes. But it is also open to so many possibilities and opportunities. I can’t wait.
I thought about writing a bucket list for this post, but considering I already have around 10 scribbled down in old journals, I decided to just choose 21 things to focus on in the near future. Anyways, there’s a reason I have 10 bucket lists. I am a work in progress and as I grow, the list keeps grows too.
So here’s 21 goals, for age 21, that I want to do or see or become in the years ahead!
As I look over these goals, I realize like plunging into a fresh water river on a hot summer day, that it is never too late to dream a new dream or take hold of a new idea. I hope I don’t forget that in the years ahead and no matter where you are or how old you are, I hope you don’t forget that either.
Don’t settle. Don’t give up. Be patient. Have faith. Especially during these unprecedented and uncertain times, hold onto hope. Look ahead with joy instead of fear, peace instead of fatalism. Know the gift of relationship with Jesus.
I am so thankful that no matter what lies ahead, to live is Christ and to die is gain! May this next year of my life bring him glory as I learn to love his people, his world, and his ways so much more.
“O how sweet to walk, in this pilgrim way, leaning on the everlasting arms; O how bright the path grows from day to day, leaning on the everlasting arms!”
