I turned 22 on Tuesday.
Amid all the hub-bub of wedding planning, my birthday seemed to come suddenly and pass quickly.
Honestly I haven’t even given much thought to being a year older.
“How do you feel?” people ask
“No different” is my reply.
The same situation happened on Monday, when my fiancee and I realized we only had one week left of pre-marital counseling.
“I thought I’d feel different at the end of this,” Eli told me, “But I don’t.”
I too thought, after weeks of counseling, that I would have the perfect picture of what a good marriage looks like, all the tools in my hand bag to make ours work, and a clear vision and plan for all that lies ahead in our married lives.
But honestly, there’s as many unknowns as there was before, and so much we won’t learn until we jump in and experience it.
Ready or not, here life comes.
I’m sure you’ve been there before too. Trying to juggle a million things at once, taking in all life has to offer before it passes you by. Wanting to hold tightly to the happy moments and juice them of all their beauty before you lose the opportunity and they’re gone.
For ready or not, life passes you by.
It’s strange to be caught in the middle of those two truths. To be anxious for what is ahead, and yet anxious to let go of what is. To hope for tomorrow and yet hope tomorrow never comes.
The frustrating, beautiful, strange and perfect mystery that is life…
We can’t control what is, we can’t control what was,
and we can’t control what will be.
But we can control ourselves, in the middle of it all.
Will we be grateful for what comes
instead of mournful for what passes?
Will we be hopeful for what lies ahead
instead of anxious for what might be?
Will we trust in the one who holds tomorrow,
who knows the future and has predestined our days?
I wasn’t really ready to turn 22. I’m not really ready to become a wife
But I don’t think any of us ever are, in the constant mutation of the plans we have, the twists and turns of the paths we’re on, in the ebbs and flows and highs and lows, the shifting stations we find ourselves in, through whatever comes our way…
We are only human and we can only handle so much.
That is why I cling to the words of Jesus,
who spoke this beautiful truth-
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” -Matthew 6:25-34
One of my favorite times of the year is the end of winter and the return of the birds. I love waking up to their morning songs, I love hearing their melodies in the trees… their songs never sound worried. Their songs never sound scared.
Their songs are joyful.
And their songs return each year.
You expect them. No matter how harsh the winter.
No matter how long it lasted.
I want my life to be like that. I want God to expect my praise, because I know He cares for me, even more than the birds who never stop singing.
I expect he will meet my needs because he promised to.
We don’t need to worry about tomorrow.
Ready or not, it will come.
Lets stop being anxious for what we can’t control.
Like the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, let us sing and take joy in each season God gives us.
For ready or not, they will go.
I have nothing to do with tomorrow, my Savior will make that His care.
Should He fill it with trouble and sorrow, He’ll help me to suffer and bear.
I have nothing to do with tomorrow, its burden then why should I share?
Its grace and its faith I can’t borrow, then why should I borrow its care?
–D.W. Whittle
