When Winter Stays…

Seasonal depression.

It’s real.

Although I’ve never been diagnosed with it and I can’t say for certain that I’ve experienced it, I think I have at least an inkling of a feeling of what its like. The Winter season is hard for me sometimes. I hate the feeling of being cooped up inside, I hate the feeling of being frozen outside, it makes me depressed when I wake up in the dark, work or go to school all day, and then come home in the dark.

Don’t get me wrong, Winter has its highlights.

I love December. I love when the streets downtown are lit up with twinkly lights and there’s a joyful anticipation in the air as you exchange Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays with the checker at the grocery store and the girl making your peppermint mocha (extra hot with whipped cream of course).

The snow is beautiful. Especially when it stands bold against the looming mountains and defines every rocky outcrop. When it clothes the trees in haunting white garbs under the moonlight and falls to caress your cheeks.

Kisses from God, I like to think.

There are few moments more peaceful than coming home after a long day, curling up by the wood fire and reading a book while a soft white powder falls gently outside and insulates all noise.

Even the dove gray sky at times is a more welcome friend than the harsh blazing blue. She’s timid and quiet and delicate.

But this Winter has been long.

Today is March 1st and there is still roughly three feet of snow outside. We’ve had a harsh February in the North West (and the Mid West and the East) including multiple winter storm warnings, crazy wind gusts and freezing temperatures.

Needless to say, I’m kinda over Winter.

And I think the people around me are too.

Every other comment in the ebb and flow of conversation includes something about the cold, jealousy over so-and-so’s uncles friends brother whose going to Hawaii for two weeks, complaints about driving, bundling up, plowing, etc..

Everyone’s walking with their heads down, too cold or too sad to meet you in the eye, scarves billowed around their necks, hands shoved in their pockets.

Just one foot in front of the other, I imagine them saying.

Maybe you know what that’s like. Even if you live in a place where it never snows, we all have Winters in our lives.

Cold, dark dreary seasons with little light and little life.

We walk around with our heads down, too focused on the draft blowing through our souls to acknowledge the people around us.

Just one foot in front of the other, we tell ourselves.

Just one more day. Or month. Or year.

Cause sometimes, those seasons stay for longer than we’d like. And regardless of how we feel about it, we can’t control the weather.

We can’t control the Winters in our lives.

But we can control how we respond to them.

My advice?

Just lift your head.

Don’t be like everyone else, only focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and too upset about the cold to look around you. There’s a whole world outside of the ground beneath your feet. Don’t be so scared of getting cold that you shove your hands in your pockets and forget to keep them out and ready to give and serve and love.

I know it’s cold. I know its hard.

But there’s still a sun behind those dark, gray clouds.
The Lords mercy is still new every morning and his faithfulness will still never come to an end.

Even in the Winters.

So on this March 1st, wherever you’re at, whether its Winter outside or in your heart, don’t wallow in the bleakness and the cold.

Keep praising his name, even if your teeth chatter.
Keep lifting your head.

You may only see gray. You may only see gray for a long, long time.

But God never breaks his promises.

He never fails. He never abandons his children. He is the God who brings new life from death and He is the only one who will deliver you from your winters.

Don’t lose heart.

Summer will come.