If I had to sum up the last month of my life, I’d do it in three simple words: Hard, but good.
I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and roses. Figuratively (and literally) it’s been howling winds and changing colors. Not the slow, glowy transition from one season to another that I’d expected, but the abrupt, almost harsh, change of Summer to Fall. It’s been cold and rainy. It’s been dreary. The wind has shook foundations that I thought were steadfast and strong. The cold has chilled me in places that I thought it couldn’t get to.
And yet, it has been a beautiful month of growth too. My classes have been difficult, but I’ve enjoyed them. Discussions among classmates have been challenging, but riveting as well. Weighty decisions have been daunting, but exciting. And going for a run when I’d much rather stay in bed hasn’t always been easy, but I’m glad I’ve done it. And although my feelings and attitudes this month have swayed high and low, I’ve had many realizations and I’ve experienced afresh deep forgiveness and grace.
It’s been hard, but it’s been good.
And I know I’m not the only one. As I watch my older sister labor so diligently at the daily challenges and joys of caring for a energetic and growing baby, I see it in her eyes. This is hard, but it is good.
I hear it in the laughs of relief that my classmates share after another long exam. I heard it in the flow of conversation last Sunday that ensued after my pastor gave a difficult, but necessary sermon. When I talked to my brother on the phone last night, and he told me of the complications he’s been facing in his career.
Life is hard.
But it is good.
We all have challenges. We all have sorrows. Right now, I’m sure you can visualize a million hard things you’ve had to encounter this past month, even this past week.
But I want you to realize something.
You can be in a hard place and a good place at the same time.
Often, I think that’s right where God wants us.
Because in our weaknesses, he is strong. And when all we see is challenges and complications, then we cry out to him, and he opens our eyes to the beauty and the blessing that is all around us.
For example.
As those of you who live in North Idaho know, last weekend we had a freaky weird storm. Like, howling winds. Freezing temperatures.
Oh, and did I mention snow?
SNOW.
SNOW IN SEPTEMBER.
If you read my post a couple weeks ago, you would know I was having a hard time simply adjusting to the fact that Summer was over. You can imagine how I felt. I kid you not, that Saturday morning after I was awoken by the wind literally shaking my room, and after I had blinked 10 times and realized that I was not dreaming, but there really was fluffy white stuff falling from the sky, I got out of bed, closed my blinds, got back into bed and prayed it’d disappear in two hours.
It did not disappear in two hours.
I was not a happy Emily.
And I didn’t go running for 3 days.
On day four, it was still cold, but the sun was out, and even though I didn’t really want to, I laced up my shoes and put on an extra layer, and I went for a run. And while I ran by the river that evening, I witnessed one of the most beautiful cotton candy colored sunsets I’d seen all year. I couldn’t help but smile.
It was cold, but it was beautiful. And had I just wallowed in the fact that the weather was not as warm as I’d prefer, and had I refused to go running for that reason alone, I would have missed the beauty of that perfect autumn sunset.
One of my favorite verses, Micah 7:8, says, “For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”
If you think about it, that verse almost seems like it’s a contradiction. How can someone be sitting in darkness and yet also have light? However throughout the bible, there are multiple scriptures that use the same language.
Psalm 37:24
“Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord holds his hand.”
Psalm 34:19-20
“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivers him out of them all.”
2 Corinthians 4:8-10
“We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
Ezra 9:8-9
“Even in our bondage, our God has given us new life and light to our eyes. Though we are slaves, our God has not forsaken us.”
Psalm 138:7
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. “
Psalm 23:5
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.”
Mark 8:35
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and for the gospel will save it.”
Losing and finding. Death and life. Trouble and preservation. Those words don’t seem to belong in the same sentences. And yet they are.
I’m definitely no bible scholar. And I certainly don’t have this whole life thing figured out. But I’d say I know my God. And I think I know what he’s trying to say.
Sometimes beauty doesn’t just come from ashes. Sometimes it is the ashes themselves that are beautiful. It is the pain at times, that brings healing. It is sorrow that brings joy, just as dawn follows darkness. And it is by sitting at a table in the presence of one’s enemies, that one finds peace. Not because of the absence of fear. But because of someone else’s presence-God’s.
Life is hard, but it is good.
Because HE is in it.
He is behind it, before it, above it, within it, around it, outside it. He is the author of it. The waymaker in it. The reason for it. The answer to it. The salvation from it.
Yes, it is hard. But it is so good.
And the next time it snows, in my soul or outside, I will focus on my God’s provision in the storm, and cling tightly to Him.
Life may be hard, but I am grateful to be here.
I hope you are too.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:16-18
