Hello again.
It’s been a while.
I’m sitting here at my favorite coffee shop, a steaming mug of nutty El Salvador coffee to my left and this beautiful, blank screen in front of me. “Here comes the Sun” by the Beatles is playing and Christmas lights in the rafters twinkle around me. I am grateful they still hang. Grateful for light while the world is still dark.
It has been a long time since I wrote on this blog, abandoning it last year during the pressure of tax season and while finishing my book. I don’t regret it, but I’ve missed this space.
Missed connecting with you all on a deeper level- especially with those who were exclusive readers of my blog.
They say expectations kill relationships and I think the same could be said of dreams and desires.
Although intention without action is fruitless, expectations too high can kill a dream before it’s begun.
I think that’s what happened with my blog.
For a while there, I was pressuring myself to work my full time job exceptionally, run a blog exceptionally, work on my novel exceptionally and still show up for myself, my mental, physical and spiritual health- and my relationships exceptionally.
News flash: that’s impossible.
This year, instead of expectations- I have found my spirit and my mind returning to something different, something better: hope.
Hope in God, instead of expectations in myself.
I don’t typically choose words of the year, but they have a funny way of choosing me. Last year again and again the theme of surrender kept coming to mind. And as I’ve thought and prayed about 2024, hope is what resurfaces.
The Bible says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12)
And I have deferred hope.
I have deferred it in exchange for ambition. For expectations. For goals. For worldly aims.
The pressure of other people. Fear. Insecurity. The list goes on…
But strangely, these things have only left me weary and wanting.
While hope does not disappoint. (Romans 5:5)
So this year, that’s what I’m pursuing.
Yes, I still have goals. Yes, I still have dreams.
But above them and below them- as both a foundation and protection- is something greater dwelling within me. An ember in my soul.
Hope.
One of those hopes, it to keep showing up on this space. It will probably look different than in years past. But here’s what you can look forward to:
- 1-2 reflective posts a month, much shorter and succinct
- Reading round up of the month including all the books I read and a review of my favorite
- An occasional poem or excerpt of a short story
I still want to show up here and in every area of my life, diligently and devotedly but without so much pressure on myself.
Without expectations that are too high.
Instead, as 1 Peter 1:13 says, I am making it my aim-
“with a mind alert and fully sober, to set my hope on grace.”
I pray the same pursuit for you.
Cheers to 2024!
-Em
I love this! Let the creativity flow out of you when God inspires it – instead of forcing it for a number goal. We’ll look forward to what you share out of an abundant, rested heart! <3
Thank you! <3
Beautiful post. I also had to surrender a bunch of expectations recently. :] Thank you.
Mmm… It is hard, but he gives more grace! You’re welcome!
I attended a Phil Keaggy concert years ago in which he played and sang “here comes the sun” flawlessly. You could hardly tell the difference. Even the difficult guitar riff was perfect. Phil later said he was lifelong friends with George Harrison the Beatles who wrote it. In researching a little more, I found that the song was written quickly on a day that the band had media engagements and George really didn’t want to be there. Funny that many cameos and masterpieces in life are written in haphazard environments. I hope that this year bring beauty out of chaos!